One of the hardest things to deal with in life, is your insecurities and trying not to let issues you have from the past ruin your present and future. It genuinely angers and upsets me that little personal issues I have from shit that has happened in the past still dictates the way I live my life, interact with and interpret people now. I probably seem sour and stuck up to people that don't me but in actual fact I'm just terrified to let people in, what if they discover my weaknesses and insecurities because then they could use them against me. Some people say that they have no regrets about shit that happened to them in the past because it made them stronger, I don't think it does,you just become less trusting, over sensitive and over think everything around you. That's not strength it's a burden caused by the fear you don't want to admit you have.
Its starting again, but this time, i seem more in-control of it a little bit more this time. but every now and then it gets the better of me, i just feel as if I’m alone, nobody who i can really talk to about it, I’ve been let down too much in my past and i cant seem to trust anyone, it’s going to get to the point, where i wont be able to control this anymore, its going to hurt, I’m scared.